Beta HCG : 70 U/L

Sample Collected : 15/9/11

Quantitative H.C.G  - 70 U/L
*Consistent with pregnancy*

Yay? Or not?

Roughly knowing the 'conception' date puts me about 22 days or roughly 3 weeks gestation on 15/09/11 and reference range for 2-3 weeks 100-1,000.

Oh boy, this is not looking good.

Again?

Again?
I'm not sure what's going on with me.
I've been getting faint lines on UPT since 31-Aug-2011, today is 19-September-2011!!!

Anyway, last Wednesday, I was at the hospital for my routine blood test. I hoped to get pass the nurse to see the doctor. As expected, nurse did an UPT and it was negative.... so, no see doctor.
I hate hospital UPT, the last I had, first reported negative, then faint positive even though my beta HCG was at 180 something... I HATE HOSPITAL UPT!

%Q###$^#$^^@^%%#

Other than feeling my boobs getting bigger (hehehe ...), not much of pregnancy symptoms.
Boobs still, it could be that they are bigger because I'm now much fatter.

Also, I noticed light spotting. Nothing needing a pad ... just 'spots'.

I really don't know la ...
After two short-lived joy previously, I am trying very hard not to be hopeful ...
I've done a beta HCG test at a private clinic last Thursday, supposedly getting my result today but doc hasn't called!!! $#%@#$%#^$%^$%$%@

The lines could also be coming from leftover HCG still floating in my system after my miscarriage....
BUT, I seriously remembered taking one or two UPT after 16/8 ultrasound (doc couldn't find anything then and it was deemed 'complete miscarriage') strips were stark white, only one line!

Or is it something else? Oooooooo Twilight zone...

So, I don't know la ...

Stone Cold

A horrible day.

Today confirms my greatest fear, I miscarried again.

Both abdominal and internal scan finds no sac.

Doctor said I must have passed it out without knowing.

I stoned as I absorbed the news.

I couldn't speak for I'll burst in river of tears.

Hopes dashed.

Now, I am only waiting for the 'full blow' of bleeding, which is starting like now...

Abdomen cramps on and off.

Bye bye 'Blob'

Pregnant or Not? Not Conclusive.

Although I've been confirmed 'pregnant' by a private Women's Health Clinic.
I've yet to hear a 'Yes, you are pregnant' from any of my main doctors in the hospital.

Today, my second UPT test came back weakly positive after TWO WEEKS!!
First one was faint positive.
So kidney doc said "Not Conclusive"

I am bleeding / spotting still since last Monday.
I hate to admit it but overall, it doesn't look good.
To add to it, my beta HCG taken on 3/8/11 was only 182.7.
Considered low as I (think), I was about 4w + 2 or 3 day.

I keep reminding myself, worry won't do any good.
But, how can I not worry?

Bleeding, Abdominal Cramp ...

Yesterday was a crappy day.

I woke up with light bleeding accompanied by abdominal cramps, ON and OFF. I felt like peeing all the time.

I threw a big tantrum at my hubby when he got home from work. I wanted KFC on the instant and started hitting him with a pillow, several times. My bad.

At 1.10 am the cramps continued and has gotten worse. My hubby took me to the A&E. Fortunately it wasn't a long wait this time. The nice doctor did a scan and we saw our little 'bean' on the screen. Not very clear as 'bean' is still very small. I couldn't make anything out of it, until the doctor pointed out 'bean's head and body.

I've been given Tramadol to help with the pain and Potassium Citrate (to clear my urine?).

I've also be referred to the O&G for assessment next Tuesday. I am scared.

At the moment, not so much bleeding, abdomen feels sore from yesterday's cramping.

I need to pray.

Hello "Blob"

Hello "Lovely Blob"!!
I saw my "Lovely Blob" on the monitor!!!
According to its size I should be 4W+5d ..
(exactly what I expected!)

But, hey ...  LMP is 18/6!!
"Lovely Blob" should be be measuring nearly 7W!
Well, I think I ovulated 2 weeks later.

There was another "Bad Blob" on my lining that could be the cause of my spotting problem.
I've been prescribed 'Duphaston' and additional folic acid.
So that "Bad Blob" will behave and let my "Lovely Blob" grow and protect my "bean".,..

Did a UPT test and I just love those lines!!!
Although line is fainter than the "Control Line", Doc said this is "expected" kind of line for 4W+5d!!!

I am happy even though my pocket is lighter by RM180.00.

Dreams ... Spotting ...

I had a dream this morning or was it last night?
Anyway, I dream that I was looking into the mirror and some of my lower tooth are missing.
I hate any teeth/tooth dreams.

Just now, I realised I started spotting again.
I am so worried.

I guess I can only pray.

Sigh ...

Please stick 'lil bean ...

I went to the hospital yesterday to have my pregnancy confirmed by the Rheumy Doc.
I did a UPT (Urine Pregnancy Test) and after about 2 hrs, the lab reported it as "NEGATIVE"!!!

An hour later, I went to see the Nephro Doc and guess what, the same lab now reports as "faintly (+) positive".

Please stick little seed!

My HPT lines are getting darker in colour, so I really hope that my hCg is indeed rising... (see attached photo).

Also, I am feeling feverish lately and it is adding to my worry! I hope it is just a pregnancy symptom and not signs of my lupus flaring up!!!!

Cheapie UPT strips - RM 1 / each!!!

Yeah, there is a definitely cheaper way to POAS!

"Faint" Line

Sigh ...
It worries me every time I get a 'fainter' faint line.
I got one this morning. I tested with a 'cassette' type and it came out very slowly and 'faint'.
(Fainter than yesterday's PM urine).

Am I not producing enough hCg?
Should I go and see a doctor now or wait?

Above photo is yesterday's result - visible (dry).

And, the photo below is today's result - there's a line, just not so visible in photo.

This is a "no brand test", cost me RM 4.90, got it from the nearest neighbourhood pharmacy.
Most of the pregnancy tester here are of 'questionable' quality - no 'manufacturing' details, some doesn't even tell you exactly how long to wait - it just say, 'wait for a few minutes', no indication of sensitivity level - in four letter word 'C.R.A.P' - not cheap too, for 'C.R.A.P'.

Best to go for Wondfo OR Clearblue digital (with conception indicator).

I remember testing with Wondfo and the line came out in less than 1 minute and was so much darker than the rest of the 'stupid' tests I've taken, namely "Guardian Pregnancy Test".
The only place that I know sells Wondfo brand is Jusco Wellness Pharmacy in Sunway Pyramid and it cost RM 6.00.

So, as you can see, this is not a "CHEAP" hobby ... peeing on a stick or better known as POAS.

Feeling WARM

Lately, I've been waking up feeling warm and a little feverish.
However, when tested temperature is within the normal range.

This, according to another forum friend is 'normal' during the early stage of pregnancy.
It is the build-up of progesterone in the system.
I didn't know, so I swallowed a few paracetamol along the way...

As you can see my 'ticker' is up again! Yay!
My period was a little hay-wired last month due to the 'incident', so, I've adjusted the ticker to my estimated 'actual conception date' instead of the usual LMP or the first day of Last Menstruation Period. (If according to LMP, I should be 6 weeks now!!!)

Today - I am soooooo happy!

Oh god, please, please let this bean stick and a happy & healthy 9 months!!!!

Do You See What I see ..... ?

Lines ..........

After what had 'happened' last month, I am so worried.

I dare not take the digital.

I am afraid, I am very afraid.

Bye Bye "Sesame Seed"

I took off the two "pregnancy ticker" on top.

It hurts.

Bye Bye "Sesame Seed"

"Sesame Seed" Are You Still Here?

As I am typing this I am bleeding heavily, period type.
Maybe I've lost my little "Sesame Seed"...
Sigh ...

I cried so much.
Why did I take that (so many) stupid tests?
If I didn't know, it won't hurt.
Could have just been a case of late period, hormone imbalance or whatever...

#@%@!^$#!^#%#^!%#$^

My body aches,
My heart aches even more.

I am hungry.

Spotting / Bleeding ... whatever

I am spotting / bleeding - not even sure what's the difference.
Never even been to the doctor yet.

I'll let nature do its 'thing'.
If it is meant to stay, then I am happy.
If not, better now than later.

I cried.
I cried for fear of losing my 'sesame seed'.

Dream & Spotting

I had the weirdest dream yesterday (or this morning??).
I dreamed that I am surrounded by "unknown" and there's this voice saying "It is not time to go in yet .."
Sigh ... Am I going nuts?

And, I just realised some light spotting.

Plus ... my stomach feels funny too.

Mission Pee Test

The plan was to wait till Sunday but I did my Pee Test today!!

#$!#%^%$&&&&$

Guardian Pregnancy Test ... 

Faint Line appears after the 10 minutes mark.

First, it appears shadowy near 10 minutes, then it gets more visible.

What the heck????

Three separate tests, two days apart!!!

I haven't used the Clearblue Digital yet ...

I will, I will restrain myself till Sunday!!!!

Clearblue Digital (Blue Cap) with Conception Indicator

Talah .... another HPT - RM 29.90.

Nope, I've not used it yet.

Will wait till Sunday.

Waiting ... and Wanting to Know is torturous.

I tested again!!!

I know I shouldn't but I well, itching to know, tried another Guardian Pregnancy Test.
Same thing occurs.
A little shadowy within the 5-10 minutes frame and it then gets darker after 10.

Possibly manufacturing defect?

Sigh... like they say, waiting and wanting to know is a torture!
(Plus, it cost me another RM 9.90!)

I feel nauseous but didn't mention it to His Royal Highness, I'm sure he'll say it is all in my "mighty mind".
Maybe it is?
Breast still feels the same ...